Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
