where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
