why didn't you poke me back
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
