____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
