Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
