Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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