walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
