pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
