Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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