I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
