i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
