when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
