and next time when you feel me up, do it right
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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