do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
