so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
