3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you had me at cake vodka
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
not ubering you a puppy
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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