At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
