Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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