In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
