I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
