fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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