Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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