Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
