Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
