I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
