so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
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