i think i have herpe
just one?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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