Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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