It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Boobs are out for the taking
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
