genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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