I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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