Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
