garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
