I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Bring me that man meat
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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