go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
