naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
