Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
