I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
