So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
