you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
