I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I will be naked everywhere
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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