To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
