Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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