yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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