you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
