All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
