If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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