this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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