The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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