seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
