so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
