You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
