Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
