I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
